I feel awful.

I am so alone. I am dripping from my eyes. Why does everyone look at me through a slut filter? I think they do, anyways. I am not a slut. I've made a lot of mistakes. People have mistaken me, too. No one really know who I am; what is inside of me. Not at all. I am peace and light but only inside of my skin. My feelings come to me so hard and real. They cut me themselves. And so do I. Even Jon is seeing me dirty and wrong. I feel dirty. I am dirty. I am gross. I have decided. I'm scary. I want to sleep so bad. For a couple of days. I am just a puppet to fuck with. I am done hurting so much. Noone knows or cares or understands how I feel, either. I just realized that I may actually like that. No one should know. I need to stop letting people morph me.

I am a human progression of the devil. But not the devil, but slight sin underneath light. Gray darkness. I am dead on Earth in peace and alive in the underworld.